101 reasons NOT to catch public transport!!! (the next 10)

  1. The bus will be late - usually, its lateness is directly proportional to the rain's intensity.
  2. If it isn't late, you'll have missed it.
  3. Or the driver will be cruel and drive off because you're three seconds late.
  4. In which case you'll have to wait 1/2 hour for the next one, and will end up at your destination about an hour late.
  5. Or else there won't be another one going that way today - it will be on this day your boss has called a meeting, and threatened to brain whoever was late.
  6. You'll realise that you forgot your mobile phone - after you miss the bus.
  7. Or it just went flat.
  8. They'll have forgotten to send it (trust me, this actually happens!), and, amid profuse apologies, send the bus - one hour later than normal.
  9. There's always the possibility that the bus won't see you, and will just drive straight past.
  10. You'll have run out of money/trips on your ticket.
  11. If you do have money on your ticket, it won't work, for some unidenitifiable reason, and they'll make you pay cash instead (which costs almost twice as much).
  12. You probably won't have any cash on hand, either.
  13. The driver will be a learner, and you'll spend the trip with your eyes closed and teeth gritted.
  14. Or, the driver will have never driven your route before, and at his request, you'll spend the trip up the front, directing him.
  15. Or, the driver will stay blissfully ignorant, missing half a dozen stops and making you walk twice as far.
  16. Or, you'll have a pile of brainless high-schoolers up the back giving the blissfully ignorant driver the wrong directions.
  17. The day it rains will be the one day you get the 50-year-old bus that creaks and leaks.
  18. You'll sit in a chair - on that one day - under the only part of the roof that leaks.
  19. You'll sit in the chair, and the roof will have already leaked, giving you a distinctly incontinent look.
  20. Even when every other person has a spare seat next to them, your spare seat will be first taken - usually by the most disagreeable person.
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