Things that are perfectly normal...

On the way home from school, mum was telling me what my siblings were doing at home (they get home an hour earlier than me).
Mum said they were at home eating food and looking at dog poo under the microscope. I asked her why (naturally) and she said, 'well why not?'
She also said that she'd told them firmly to wash their hands - thoroughly - before eating anything more!!!
It cracked me up.

Racing a 3-year-old

There is one rule you must know and understand before choosing to race a 3-year-old:

Thou shalt not win
If you do not abide by this code of conduct, your young friend will despise you and will never race you again.

I have a plan!

evil guy: 'I have a plan. But what if he foils my plans?'
evil guy's accomplice: 'I have a plan to foil his plans to foil your plans'
evil guy: 'But what if he has a plan to foil your plans to foil his plans to foil my plans?'
evil guy's accomplice: 'Don't worry. I have a plan to foil his plans to foil my plans to foil his plans to foil your plans.'
evil guy:'Good. I like people who think ahead.'

The conversation at the dinner table last night was as stilted as a twelve-foot clown.

My baby (3-year-old) brother was watching mum making his bed and commented, 'They're bootiful sheets, mum.'

Glasses are the worst things (ever) to lose, because then you can't see to find them.
Trust, me, I speak from experience!

I HATE laptops!!!

My laptop is the worst thing in the world. Sometimes I feel like chucking it at a wall.
Yous ee, first and foremost, YOUTUBE doesn't work! And I was going to show you this really amazing (and hilariously funny) video, but I can't!! aargghh!
Secondly, Firefox and Microsoft Word seem to hate me - every time I save, click, write, or even blink (so it seems), they FREEZE UP! Do you know how annoying that is??????
It drives me INSANE!!!!

I took it to the tech people at school (it's a school computer, wich figures), and they completely wiped it, but now the 'virus' or whatever it is is back with a vengeance!